So I left the eye doctor feeling great, put up with a little flashing and some floaters. They will probably diminish and maybe even go away.
So the feeling of euphoria only lasted a couple of hours. That was too easy I was thinking. Is he right? What is the chance of having these symptoms that seem pretty bad and the problem is benign and requires no treatment?? How lucky can I get?
For a few days it was feeling pretty good, but still. Flashes are odd. I have always had floaters, but not these floaters! These are not just the small intermittent specs, some of them are like waves of floating vision passing through from time to time. I do not like this feeling when the wave comes in.
I am anxious and now I am super-sensitive to it. I am analyzing every feeling, every blink, every floater. I think I better read up on this. It will be easier now because I know exactly what the issue is, it is benign, it is PVD!
Well I started to read….OMG. 7-15% of PVD’s can turn into retinal detachment. I am going to curl up in a ball and wait for mine to occur I think because I am so scared. I do not want to go blind, I do not want to have laser eye surgery (or worse). I want to live my normal life with no vision distractions.
Lesson one, hard to learn, do not diagnose online. Do not read forums or even about people’s experiences. They are all different but that is ok, because in reality we are shopping for the outcome that works for us. But like me, you cant help yourself, that is why you are reading this, right? There are two reasons I decided to add to the “internet” collection of PVD stories. The first is easy, because it is somewhat therapeutic for me to write.
More important though, when doing internet diagnosing remember a few things that I have to remind myself each time. The medical reference websites are always going to at least mention worst case scenarios. They have too. If you go to the forums, where people talk about their own experiences, there are some not so great stories there too. But you have to remember for all diseases and conditions these are the people with big problems for the most part. Otherwise they would not likely take the time to write. Most of the people who are diagnosed and recover as expected, do not take the time to write and discuss it. These are the majority.
So my reading was not helping, I had a hyper sensitivity to my symptoms and I was very anxious waiting for disaster to strike. Unlike If I had an ankle problem, or a knee problem, I could not put my eyes up to rest. They were with me all the time and I was analyzing every spec, light and flash. I was killing myself with stress.
I talked to a doctor friend of mine who said, stop reading online! I said easier said than done. I know what it is, I just want it to go away! Well get used to it, as it may not go away.
As I went through my second week of symptoms the flashes were definitely better. They were less frequent and less bright. The floaters were still there, unabated though. There was no way of getting away from them and no way of not thinking about them and what they may mean to my health and life. I knew I was overreacting and too focused on it, but with the fear of further damage and the anxious questioning of whether my doctor has it right was driving me crazy as I headed into another weekend or reduced flashing and ever present floaters.